the bikini zone by nila northSun

not that anybody would see me in one
my prime time long past
& i sometimes know better
than to make myself
the subject of ridicule or
snide remarks
yet as summer approaches
i know i’ll find myself
beached on the sand
in a ‘disguise your thighs’
‘built in girdle’
‘bust enhancing’
wildly floral printed
hunk of elastic and nylon spandex
called a one piece bathing suit

& where i might glory
in my own robustness
& natural woman-ness
apparently pubic hairs
crawling down an inner thigh
is not very socially acceptable
though i’d damn those that
would dare look
i guess i, too
am surprised
at how winter’s clothing
must have nurtured
a voluminous crop

& so
i shave
not those little rectangle patches
seen in porno mags
or in titty bars
(though of course
i don’t know how i know
about such things)
but just a scaled down version
of my natural self
&  damn
if there isn’t a gray hair down there too!!
omygawd!
i never thought about getting
old enough to have a thatch
of silvery pubes
yow, best not to think about that yet

anyway
i get out the bic
& begin
i won’t go into minute detail
suffice to say
the job is  done
& no
i don’t look
pre-pubescent
in fact
don’t worry about it
don’t think about my pubes
in fact
if you do
let me gross you out instead
because
i get these big ol’ angry red
bumps!
apparently i have given myself
in-grown hairs
that are now angry & pussy
no not pussy
like a cunt
but puss—ey, ie, like
purulent
so i have to get out tweezers
& unclog the frustrated volcanoes
geezus cripes
vanity thy name is woman!

well, thanks, just thought
i’d ‘share’.