For Steve Paul
Today the sky-
stretched like a human body
in a mid-evil torture device.
I walk and wonder who I will be
I wonder who you would’ve been
I smoke my cigarettes
I watch porn
I envy the passion of the murderer.
I can barely get out of bed.
I have learned criminals
believe in karma more than anyone
they just try to out run it.
And still I slowed down just enough
to carry your casket
out the church doors
into the rain.
They said that rain was something
you did for a laugh
but I wasn’t sure if
you are allowed to control the weather
so soon after death.
Manipulating the atmosphere is like a ten year anniversary
it’s like a watch with your name inscribed
or a gift certificate to Applebees.
The atmosphere takes time.
Being the addict I am
I thought it was God punishing me
for bringing my heroin heart
to a holy place but
I couldn’t say goodbye to you
without it.
Some day
I will do it right
no god no drugs
just you and me
I promise.
deuce coupe 