I’m flattered my wife
told her girlfriends
I was a Renaissance man,
that I would know whether
a black bear or a brown bear
is the more dangerous of the two.
I nod, “It’s the black bear,
the black bear is more dangerous.”
“Why?” she asks, sipping her coffee.
“I thought brown bears were grizzly bears.”
“No, no, they’re two different species.
And because the brown bear
has been closer to people, to humanity,
for so many years, they’ve become
more familiar with people, and subsequently
less aggressive. Whereas
the black bear’s range is higher up
and more secluded in the mountains
of North America, making them much
more dangerous when they do
come into contact with people.”
She smiles and says,
“I also told my friends
you would make something up
if you didn’t know the answer.”
Passion Pink Polish
She drops her sewing box
on her big toe,
turning the nail black,
but it’s not at the nail base
so she won’t lose it,
it’s only turned black.
“I’m going to cover it up
with 2 coats of Passion Pink polish,”
she says. And she does,
leaving only a faint shadow
of black beneath, like a bat
against the night sky.
“Maybe I better use
a darker color,” she says,
“To be sure no one can see
the black color.”
I kneel down
like Lancelot before
the beautiful Guinevere.
“If anyone gets close enough
to actually see
that faint black shadow lurking
beneath your Passion Pink toenail,
I need to know about it,” I respond.